subconscious meets conscious

the lure of the unattainable

2007-07-13T19:52:00.000+08:00

It's odd, but people always want what they can't have. Not on purpose perhaps, and maybe not even in an obvious manner, but the yearning is there. Bubbling, bubbling, under the surface.

That's probably why concepts such as immortality, magic and youth are so attractive universally. Immortality is unattainable, magic is out of our grasp, and youth? Once gone, never to return. Subconsciously, we feel it. We understand. How else would you explain the mass popularity of Romeo and Juliet? Star-crossed lovers, both affluent with their pick of suitors, and they HAD to fall in love with the one they could not have. The irony.

*sigh* What a sorry lot we are. By yearning for the things we cannot have, we are just setting ourselves up for disappointment.

Then again, what's wrong with dreaming? And who's to say the unattainable will forever be the unattainable?

Yearn. Dream. Strive.

Live....

....and err. For is that not what it means to be human?

tagged! 10 things you don't know about me (?)

2007-05-16T21:41:00.000+08:00

Lol. I didn't know there was a tagging thing going around.... shows you how out of touch i am with the blogging community. =_=

Anyway, this is a response to Jac's tag.

Read on, people! ^^

1) Most people out there know i love to read. But, did you know i even read dictionarys? Seriously. Try it sometime, it's...er....educational. (I was going to say fun...but, oh well.) =P

2) I have a anti-popularity complex. No, I don't mean i dislike 'ordinary popular people' (oxymoron?), but more that i tend to go against or struggle with the normal flow. Just ask my friends, i like weird singers and weird books, not mainstream ones. Well, at least not mainstream in Malaysia. ^^

3) I have strange eating habits when it comes to ice. Ever tried ice cubes with salt? Aah, those days.... Nowadays, i don't do that anymore. However, I do relish the puzzled expressions on the ice-kacang people's faces whenever i ask for 'ais saja, dengan susu. ' *grins* Priceless.

4) I love to sing. Although i may not sing much in the presence of others, my family is often treated to renditions of my current favourite song. Sometimes, my siblings even join me for a a whimsy sort of triplet (is that what it's called? O_o). Besides that, i tend to sing or hum when i'm puzzling over something, like additional maths. During exams, songs would keep running in my head throughout, but i'd keep silent. ^^

5) I used to have quite the temper back in primary school. Hehe, one minute i'd be all quiet and composed, and the next i could be throwing books around or thinking up murderous schemes. Thank goodness i'm much better now, but some days i still tend to go off quite easily. Less dramatically, though.

6) Big old me versus little puny insects. I'd run. Insects, reptiles, and creepy crawlies are all fine and dandy if they are seen through thick, THICK glass, preferably from far, far away, but never, never, never get them near me. Mosquitoes are still ok, but beyond that, i can't stand these creatures, even butterflies. Bees and flies i especially hate.

7) Call me conventional, call me outdated; i'll pick pen and paper anyday over a keyboard and computer. For writing anyways. There's just something about traditional pen and paper that satisfies me. Seeing the words formed one by one before you, it kicks starts your brain. I often find myself staring blankly at the screen more often than writing when i attempt to create a story on the comp.

8) I'm very interested in things of the weird or mysterious. For example, tarot cards, palmistry, star signs, runes, I-ching, dream interpretations, numerology etc. Lol. I used to read extensively on these topics when i was back in primary school and secondary school. Nowadays, there's just too many other things to do. Thus, it would be quite accurate to call me a 'Jill of all trades', master of none. *sigh*

9) I'm a collector. Of what, you ask? Well, whatever interests me at the time. Currently, i would say i'm collecting experiences. ^^ That's not to say i don't collect anything concrete. I have collections of stickers, stamps, buttons, beads, books, games, anime...... the list continues. Sometimes, i have to wonder: am i just collecting junk?

10) I don't do high heels. This is just speculation, but i have a nagging suspicion i'd more likely be picking myself off the floor more often than walking in heels. Why torture myself? Heels are uncomfortable and so not my style.

Well, that's it for this tag! *stretches* I'm done!

I tag >> Sue-anne & Kimberley. ^^

New look

2007-04-19T10:33:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone!

I got bored with my old template.... What do you think?

It wasn't easy getting it to look this way. The original version was weird, so I had to do quite a bit of modification..... spent half a day doing this!

Anyway, have fun with the bouncicles, and I'd be happy to hear any suggestions for improvement.

Till next time....　さよなら～

Weird characters

2007-01-21T17:38:00.000+08:00

You know about those TV-screen characters which make TV soooo interesting to watch? Ultra-cool characters like Light and L from Death Note, crazy hyper ones like Raven from That's so Raven, moody unpredictable types like Angel from Angel,.....the list goes on. Simply put, characters which are real characters.

You don't find people like that in real life.... at least that's what i believe. Those characters might thrive and be hugely popular in their respective TV shows, but to bring them to real life would just be inviting trouble. I mean, just imagine having a doctor like House! =_= it'll never work. Realistically, it'll never work.

People in reality are much more bland. There's always the urge to blend with the crowd, to be a part of society. To survive in society, one has to be more....accomodating, more balanced i suppose. Well, that's what i believed, and which has proved true for 18 years. Until now....

Now, i'm reconsidering. I think my theory only works for Asians or, more specifically, Malaysians. Why, you ask? Please examine.

Exhibit A: American history lecturer - Mr. B. Hates cell-phones with a vengeance, and tries to convince all his students to give up their handphones. Has the ability to bash certain parties up without being over-insulting. Current record: Bashing up 4 different parties in one class.

Exhibit B: .....

OK, i can't think of an exhibit B right now, but here's my reasoning.

With the real life example of Mr. B., it is a possibility that people are really like that in Western societies. Upon furthur contemplation, it does make sense. Where else would have TV producers come up with their characters? No matter how exaggerated, there must be some basis in fact. As i see it, TV could actually be a pretty much accurate reflection of Western societies. We Asians just think it unlikely because of low levels of exposure to Western type characters. This is probably true on their end too, just look at Western movies' portrayals of Asians!

For now, this will be my standpoint. Further examination will have to wait till i go to America....*eyes glint*....

Old friends

2007-01-14T21:04:00.000+08:00

Meeting an old friend after a long time is an....interesting experience. By a long time, I'm referring to years. You never really know what to expect. Questions such as "what does he/she look like?" & "what should i say?" runs through your head, but of course, no answer is forthcoming. All one can do is to just meet and wing it from there.

Yesterday, I met up with Kimberley. Finally. After....what is it?....6 years? As amazing as it may sound, we have been keeping in contact only via letters, at first and till present, emails. So, naturally, i was apprehensive when we set up this movie outing. For one, although we were friends once upon a time, we may not get along now. The sad reality is....people change. Although sometimes for the better ^^, which is good. Just as you never know what to expect, you can bet that your old friend is also in a similar predicament. What if they don't like what they see? What if the situation becomes the agonizingly slow and silence born of awkwardness? What then?

So many questions, so many worries, and time keeps ticking. Still, i'll take the risks.

Anyway, enough with the drama. To cut a long story short, we met up.....and things were fine. I can't say things went as expected, because i wasn't expecting anything O_o .....but i'd describe the outing as "reasonably comfortable". There were no awkward silences, but no easy familiarity either. I don't know exactly how to explain it, but there is something to be said for comfortable silence. You must trust someone a certain degree for there to be a 'comfortable' silence. Don't you agree? People just don't seem to be content with silence. Thus the need for mp3 players and vocalized pauses ( =P blame public speaking )..... anyway, that was what i had with kim. A comfortable silence.

The funniest part was the very beginning - we couldn't recognize each other. We had to search each other out through hints about clothes. Sounds like internet friends meeting for the first time, ne? After that, it was like making a new friend, except that this friend already knows quite a lot about you and is updating his/her stash of info. Well, at least i did.

All in all, it was nice....good..... *shrugs*. It's true you know. Old friends should never be forgotten. Never. Or perhaps it should be 'old friends CAN never be forgotten'. Even though they might fall out from your life at a certain point, they would have left their mark, big or small, obvious or subtle, its there, and those marks can never be erased.

P/S: Kim, best of luck in all your ventures, no matter where you go. Peace. **

In the holidays....

2006-12-31T09:34:00.000+08:00

It's always the case that when I feel like blogging, it is 'conveniently' impossible to blog. And after much waiting and chewing on fingernails, when the oppurtunity arises, inspiration has fled. *sigh*.... And that is precisely the reason why i have not updated at all for the whole holiday period!

.....Em, well, that and the fact that i was busy. Really.

Anyway, now that the conditions are right.... hehehe...*rubs hands gleefully*, get ready for one loooooooooooooong update. Wait! Don't go! I'll try to make this as short and sweet as a long update can be! (Does that make sense to you? O_o) Eh-hm, enough nonsense. Let's begin.

In the holidays, ....

> I sat for my JLPT.

> We moved house in degrees and is now officially settled down. You never know how much rubbish you have until you have to move. But oddly, your rubbish, although you logically admit it as junk, seems so hard to part with.....

> I gained some work experience....and some extra cash ^^

> We suffered food poisoning from a neighbourly gift of some flowery vegetables. The neighbours have no reason to want to kill us.....do they? =_=

> I attended Sue-Anne's farewell party. She's leaving in Feb.

> I hosted a potluck/ boardgame session/ house-warming at my new place. Yay, board games! Note: Cards are one of the greatest invention ever.

> Christmas was quiet this year. In other words....Where are the Christmas songs?!

> I went on a jaunt with Nat and Man Yi to Petaling Street. Anime hunting!!

> I experienced Comic Fiesta for the first time, thanks to Man Yi and Nat.
#For those who don't know what Comic Fiesta is, it's an event which allows ACG (animation, comics and gaming) fans to gather and mingle. At the event, doujinshi (fan art) and other ACG related items are sold, and there are many cool contests and games. Besides that, cosplaying is commonplace there and is in fact, encouraged. All part of the fun!

Hmm....well i think that's all. Can't recall anything else really special.

And now, the hols are almost over....Which reminds me!

Happy New Year, everyone!! ~*

La Opera

2006-11-27T22:56:00.000+08:00

In sleep he sang to me....In dreams he came.....

=_= either that...or some robust viking lady singing her lungs out is what comes to mind with the word "opera".

But Mozart? And opera? O_o Bizarre. But that is precisely what we got when we went to watch Don Giovanni by Co-opera.

First, some background info. Don Giovanni is basically the Italian version of Don Juan or Casanova or....any other dashing, heartless debonair you can think of. The opera consists of 14 (or was it 15?) acts, wherein the charming Don seduces women galore, leaving a trail of heartache behind him, unrepentant up till the very end where the Commodore which he murdered drags him down to hell and fiery retribution. Eh-hm...cool, ne?

Of the medley of characters, i liked the Argumento a.k.a the narrator the best. Who wouldn't when his was the only really clear dialogue i could hear? It's not that the others weren't good; blame it on unaccustomedness, it's not everyday one hears people conversing in song. =P Another reason i like the Argumento was that he often spoke in rhyme....and i love rhyme! *shrugs* (And yes, unaccustomedness is a word....i checked.)

Besides the charming Argumento, i liked Don Giovanni a lot too. No, not the character ( frankly i think the rascal deserved what he got), i'm referring to the performer. Among all the performers, he had the best voice by far. Maybe i'm biased....but i really, really liked his voice, and that's what opera is all about, no? Well, there's also the matter of technique and experience, but i digress. As for the girls, the cheeky one rocks! Zerlina's her name by the way. ^^

Where Mozart is involved, great music is guaranteed. A live band consisting of 3 violinists and a cellist ( and also a conductor) supported the opera performance, bringing to life various lilting tunes to further enhance the atmosphere portrayed. A good composer, good musicians....needless to say, the music was superb. In fact, it was sooo interesting to watch the musicians play that i missed certain parts of the show. *sigh*...which is how i caught the musicians smirking at the performance whenever they had a reasonably long break. =P

*sigh* I had fun watching the show, it was interesting. And it's clear that the performers enjoyed themselves too. Makes me think back on my 戏剧 days....i miss all those hectic rehearsals with my friends....It was always messy, and sometimes frustating, but never boring.

Anywayz, now i'm looking for the script of Don Giovanni. I liked the rhymes sooo much, i'm going to get them!! *cackles maniacally*

Death Note

2006-11-23T11:28:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, i watched 'death note' at sunway pyramid with ML. As most of my friends know, i'm a total anime/manga enthusiast; hence naturally, i would note miss the movie under any circumstances.

One word : Amazing. @.@ I loved it!!

Frankly, before i stepped into the cinema, i never expected the movie to be that cool. Sure it had something to do with anime and jap stuff (which automatically increases its rating due to the bishie factor and just overall exotic charm =P), but i expected it to be sort of dark and gloomy........it IS titled "Death Note" after all.

And i don't do dark. Or scary. Or depressing. Did I mention i hate horror movies?

I mean, what's the point of forking out money to scare yourself witless? Real life's scary enough as it is.....there's no need to add ghosts and goblins to the mix. But i must admit, i have pretty low tolerance for horror.....at the expense of my sleep O_o

Anyway...."Death Note" was really cool. The characters were strong and memorable and the storyline was engaging. There were many twist and turns, some unexpected some predictable, and it was interesting to see how the Light and L tried to outwit each other. Although the movie was only 2 hours long, it managed to capture human nature very well, and did not cause any confusion whatsoever. Really, a job well done. I'm sooo going to get the DVD.

All in all, there are many things to like about the movie. I for one found the characters individual quirks endearing, with special regard to L and his sweet tooth. Especially added with a commentary from the back row (cantonese) : wah! qui yat jek sek, sek, sek....dim gai gum sou ge?

Direct translation: He just eats and eats and eats......how come he's so thin?

Lol. *sigh* It might not sound as funny here, but under the circumstances then, it was hilarious. So forgive me if you do not find it the least bit entertaining. =P

Being 18

2006-11-20T15:51:00.000+08:00

What's there to say?.....Being 18 is more or less the same as being 17 or 16 or 15 or 14 etc.....Well, except that now i'm 'legally' allowed to consume alcohol, smoke, enter bars, and all that....but seriously, i don't see what's the big deal. You know how people say "sweet sixteen"? Perhaps 18th birthdays should be called "evil eighteen", for it is the entryway to 'legal' vices. O_o

Lol. Don't mind me much, i'm just a little cynical. Anyway, thanks to all those who wished me a happy birthday, i really appreciate you guys remembering.

And lastly....a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY! goes out to all those sharing a birthday this month, you know who you are. ^_^

quiz

2006-11-09T21:25:00.000+08:00

Hey! This is a cool quiz i found on Jessy's blog....

What type of Fae are you?

This quiz below was created by the same person.....whoever he/she is.....

Find your Celestial Choir

I like quizzes! They might not be accurate, and really should not be taken seriously for peace of mind......but they are fun! ^_^

Gory Greeks

2006-11-08T17:46:00.000+08:00

I've always been interested in myths and legends, regardless of the country of origin, and I must say that Greek stories are among the most fascinating. Well, it's not surprising considering the fact that the Greeks have a multitude of Gods, each with their own area of governance and unique character. It boggles the mind to see how these Gods are related, but this just adds to its appeal. Besides that, the Greek Gods and Godesses are surprisingly human...... they get jealous, angry, sad, fall in love....which of course leads to plenty of drama and manipulation.

Although I'd like to explain in detail, it would be impossible and impractical to do that. If anyone is interested to know more, just let me know, and i'll post further entries on this subject.

Anyway, lately i've bought a book called "Classical Mythology". Although I always thought i knew quite a bit about the Greek pantheon, this collection of stories managed to surprise me. Did you guys know that many popularized versions of Greek myths are untrue? O_o

At the present, i'm not yet even half-way through the book. However, so far i find the tales somewhat depressing. Sheesh! What were the Greeks thinking?! Most of the stories i've read were just disaster after disaster, all doom and gloom. And blood....don't forget the blood. Ugh. Out of ten, i'd say there are only two with remotely happy endings. What's worse is that many of the stories seem promising at first....everything's going well and all that, then suddenly there's a curve-ball, and BAM! there goes my happy ending. *sigh*....

Still, it is interesting. The Greeks apparently tried to explain the workings of nature through the epic of the Gods. So, it's interesting to see how they connect the two.

But still.....I like happy endings.....

a short stanza

2006-11-05T15:05:00.000+08:00

This is just something I scribbled down in boredom....i really don't know whether i'll continue writing it.....but i like what i have now so....*shrugs*

To write, to write is a beautiful thing

An outflow of words to paper...

It sets a stage for the mind to sing

To prance and play and caper!

Philosophy

2006-10-30T13:53:00.000+08:00

Taking philosophy classes has made me start to think. Well, at least think a little differently. It's hard to explain, but as Mr. Eddy puts it: "This class is not to answer your questions, it's to make you question even more." O_o deep....but very true. Sometimes, it just makes your head spin.

Talking to Eu-gene is another mind-blowing experience. A natural born philosopher if there ever was one. However, I couldn't see eye to eye with him on several of his points. Personally, I am not certain what i think, there are just too many arguments and counter-arguments in my head. It's like having a whole debating team in one's head, except that all the debaters are copies of oneself. Majorly confusing.

Heavy-duty stuff like life and death, justice and ethics, mind and soul.....sometimes I feel we humans think too much. What if life was just life? Until now, I have not found a better word to describe life than the word 'life' itself. To make my point clear, I'll make this comparison though. Life is like a poem, and we humans are trying too hard to read between the lines.

So please. Just live.

Back at last

2006-10-30T12:36:00.000+08:00

It has been one loooooooong break, hasn't it? To all the people who regularly check my blog (if any), gomen ne.

After this week, I'm free. 2 whole months of holidays. Sweet.

I've been thinking of getting a part-time job, but nothing has been confirmed yet. First things first, I'm planning to really polish up my Japanese properly. It wouldn't do for me to do badly in my JLPTs in December. (JLPT stands for Japanese Language Proficiency Test)

For now, study for the finals.

....

At least, that's the plan.

Ah-choo!

2006-08-29T20:39:00.000+08:00

*sniffle*

Yep. I'm sick. Happens every once in a while. It's actually been a long time since I was last sick.

Weak. Tired. Sleepy. Cold.

At least I still have a week to recuperate before school starts.

nature walk

2006-08-25T13:23:00.000+08:00

As I was taking a walk one day
A stranger I met along the way
He tipped his hat and bobbed his head
And with a smile he said
"Have a good day"

The smell of grass was in the air
As I strolled along without a care
But then the trees grew sparse and the flowers rare
The warm sun became a heavy glare
And I found myself in the city square

The towers were tall and the skyscrapers high
As I continued along with a sigh
Down cluttered streets in the smoky air
The discomfort almost too much to bear
A sorry state to make nature cry

By and by I went full circle
Back home again to lovely people
A new appreciation for clear blue skies
Colourful flowers and butterflies
Things so sweet and simple
But oft forgotten in our lives

Red Box

2006-08-24T17:09:00.000+08:00

On Monday, I paid my first visit to RedBox. Seriously, it was my first.

I really didn't know what to expect, but i certainly did not expect RedBox to be selling food, as in proper food, not snacks. They actually have lunch sets. All in all, RedBox reminded me of a check-in motel - one with a colourful theme.

Fun. A pretty relative and subjective word. Did i have fun? Hmm.... Honestly, I felt sleepy most of the time. It was dark and cool, and there was music.....you've got to admit it was perfect for sleeping. Lol. In my own befuddled way, i found it quite interesting. Whether it was the company, the novelty, or the atmosphere, or maybe a combination of everything, it was interesting. I really wouldn't mind going there again, but with some of my old friends next time. I'd really like to hear them sing.

Anywayz, thanx J, for the compliment.

Ouchy....

2006-08-04T22:28:00.000+08:00

Wah!!

Stupid braces! I can't eat! *lip quivers* I love food...... and I'm having exams now......

I need the nutrients! Bah!

Beggars can't be choosers. No matter how much I dislike porridge, I have to admit that porridge for dinner was really, really good. My teeth didn't hurt ( at least not much) and I finally got to fill up my tummy.

*sigh*

Actually, the braces don't really hurt in the way i expected. Most of the time it's just there, you know, a dull throbbing ache that doesn't really bother you much. But just try to eat and.....WHAM! The pain hits you hard!

Fortunately, I'm sitting for academic exams.....not food-tasting ones.....

Lol.

Animania!

2006-08-02T23:09:00.000+08:00

*cackles maniacally*

I've totally gone anime crazy lately! I have like this whole "mountain" of anime to watch!!

*twitch*twitch

must control self....finals coming.....

*twitch

Braces

2006-08-02T23:06:00.000+08:00

I'm getting them.

Tomorrow.

"....."

fun

2006-07-28T20:50:00.000+08:00

Religion has got to be the fun-nest presentation I've ever done! Dressing up was cool.....especially when everyone was forced to as well (=P). My group's costumes were the coolest! No competition. We were bright (literally), loud, and unbelievably messy. But it was really, really fun.

At first though, I've got to admit....i was really worried.

One hour before presentation......
#.# the slides were not ready + J did not bring his costume + M got his notes wrong + most could not remember their lines = CHAOS.....

We only got ready just in time. How? We improvised. LOL.
J's costume was created out of mahjongg paper. M rememorized his part. And the lines.....what lines? Screw the lines! We made our own.

Casting M as Gabriel was brilliant, if I say so myself. He was the star of the show! With his cute korean accent and blushing shyness.....he was so adorable. He was really the key to our group's success. Go, angel!

All the group members did really well. We might have been messy and seriously unorganized, but we all had a lot of heart. So...thanx guys for making this a really neat experience!!

teeth obituary

2006-07-21T20:57:00.000+08:00

Farewell, farewell, I bid to thee......my two lower-case molars.

Lol.

Indeed. Today I said goodbye to two of my teeth, which were sacrificed in the name of beauty. To make space for braces, they would have to go. Surprisingly, the prospect of losing two of my teeth did not scare me in the least. Perhaps i was too numbed by the looming presence of the encroaching finals and my guitar practicals. The jitters evoked by them makes this procedure seem ......minor.

Although some might think my priorities seem a little mixed up, i really feel less threatened by losing my teeth when compared to the finals. (Hmm...somehow this brings to mind the saying of "like pulling teeth"...). From my point of view, there's nothing i can do about the pulling of my teeth, in other words, my fate is in the dentist's hands. I'm OK with that. What I have trouble coping with is the results i'd be responsible for. Wouldn't you agree that that is more cause for concern?

Now, the ordeal has passed, and since i'm sitting here writing about this oh so calmly, you can conclude that the extraction went smoothly. Although i must admit that this was an interesting experience... Did you know that anaesthetic makes one feel that the affected parts are larger? O_o I kept thinking that my bottom lip was swollen. =P I also found that i had problem speaking properly after the extraction. Eating and drinking was troublesome too...which was what i found most troublesome. Food....*sigh*

For those planning to go through a similar procedure, here are some things to take note of:
1) It doesn't hurt. Seriously.Trust me.
2) There will be bleeding. Troublesome but not fatal.
3) If you are not desperate like me, only take food after about 5 hours. (i think i rushed mine...it started bleeding again. *Tsk.)
4) Schedule the procedure on a weekend preferably. You really do not want to go around with a lisp and uncontrollable lips. O_o

Well, i guess that's all i have to say about this. This piece is dedicated to my two disposed teeth. May they rest in peace. O_o

Woe is me...

2006-07-13T17:27:00.000+08:00

Sheesh! Some language-major to be I am. I've always prided myself in my grasp of the English language, but i seem to have lost my footing somewhat since the beginning of college.

Last semester, of the four subjects i took, English had to be the one i was the most worried about. And now, english literature is the subject that's torturing me the most (mark-wise, of course, no subject could beat Chemistry at boredom so far).

I must say i'm grateful for being born with a good head.
Numbers? Bring it on! Maths....is sacred.
Facts? No prob. Just give me a few hours beforehand.
Logic? It would be illogical to think otherwise. Lol.
.....

Language? *sigh*
...Not good enough. Not yet.

Now who was it again who said :"The more I learn, the more I realise I do not know." ?

Quotes

2006-07-08T22:30:00.000+08:00

Recently, I've found myself falling in love with certain quotes. Quotes so beautiful, quotes which strike a chord within my heart. Quotes which flow oh so melodiously over my tongue, quotes which describe hidden concepts oh so well. And then there are quotes which tickle the funny bone, and quotes which unveils a new awareness. *sigh* ... quotes.

"......."

Eh-hm. Well, enough of that. Let me just show you the quotes which have so captivated me.

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, but I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino

"The lover is a monotheist who knows that other people worship different gods but cannot himself imagine that there could be other gods." - Theodor Reik

"Cuandor amor no es locura, no es amor" - Pedro Calderon de la Barca
(when love is not madness, it is not love)

“Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” - Anon

"I did never know so full a voice issue from so empty a heart: but the saying is true 'The empty vessel makes the greatest sound'. " - Shakespeare

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." – Herm Albright

"Complaining is good for you as long as you're not complaining to the person you're complaining about." - Lynn Johnston

........

Here too are several nonsensical -er...- 'quotes' i picked up along the way too. They might not be 100% accurate ( due to many times of memory reviewing...psycho people!*hint*), but the main point is there. "......." i hope. =p

"You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you have to watch out for. You never know when they will turn and stab you in the back." - Jack Sparrow

"Everybody in this world has problems. In fact, if anyone were to say they did not have a problem, that would be their problem." - Eddy Lee (aka my religion teacher *grins*)

.......

That's all i have to say for now on quotes. But before i go, here's a little morsel for you people with partners to trouble them with : "Do you love me because i am beautiful, or am i beautiful because you love me?"

*cackles maniacally* That's bound to give them a headache.

children.....cute?

2006-07-01T13:29:00.000+08:00

Are children really that cute? Personally, i think children are overrated. Not that i don't want children, it's just that everyone (or mostly everyone) has this preconception that kids are soooo cute and innocent, when sometimes they can just be plain mean, little devils in angel disguises.

Take this point for example: My little cousin (i think she's three) said "When i grow up, i want to be tall and slim. Nicole (her baby sister) shall be short and fat."

"...... "

Where in the world did she come up with that? Either the world nowadays has influenced kids in a really bad way, or else ....inborn evil? Of course, when you first hear it, it all sounds pretty funny, but there is an underlying meanness to it. i wonder if we were all like that once, and have just learnt to cover up our innate meanness.

And then there are those cases of children boycotting some other kid who they think aren't "cool" enough. Cases of taunting and name-calling...etc. And we call that "just playing". Sometimes i think little kids are much more cruel than adults. While adults play war with their big guns and WMDs; kids play a psychological war, where friends are assets, and all those who don't make the cut go down, avoided like lepers.

Then again, maybe i'm just being too pessimistic. *sigh*

......

Kids. Cute? Perhaps.

2nd @ trip

2006-06-11T21:40:00.000+08:00

#@ = anthropology

Today, we went on our second (and hopefully the last) trip to the little kampung of Ulu Beranang. Whether it was because we have gotten a lil' more familiar with the place, or perhaps it was the cooling effect of the rain, but I felt today's trip wasn't as taxing on the mind as the last trip. None the less, i do not want to visit this little kampung again. No matter how much "fun" we had here, it is not enough to make me brave the winding mountain roads and motion sickness again. uggh...just thinking about it makes me dizzy.

Frankly, this trip was pretty....interesting. Well, that is if you count getting lost (twice!!) and bumbling interviews interesting. Personally, i found it all rather funny, what with the silly antics and odd outbursts of the guys. We all got quite high towards the end, the guys seem to think it has something to do with the grass (they didn't eat any- if you were wondering), then we thought of oxygen deprivation (we were on a mountaintop...), but I believe in the "breaking point" theory. What is the "breaking point" theory?

# breaking point = the point where boredom reaches its maximum point in the human psyche and breaks it, often leading to an unusual "high" or temporary insanity.

Eh-hm....all in all, among all the silliness, we did manage to finish all the work we planned initially. There were certain problems...like when we split up and ended interviewing the same family at different times... (Aiks, we all just could not resist the ais kacang. *sigh*) And then there was the case of the misplaced notes, a minor accident (due to one stubborn fella who insisted on riding a motorbike....), and just a few wrong turns (or near wrong turns anyway). Don't worry, we all got back home safely in one piece. =D

Results: 10 interviews, some dirt on the ketua kampung, and (in the case of WT and YT) free freshly slaughtered chicken. Also, a new friend.

Hmm....not bad at all.

Anthro stuff

2006-06-01T21:54:00.000+08:00

Ok ok, i must admit that i'm a little disappointed in my anthro results. But then again, what can one expect from last minute studying? HaHaHa....it used to work before.

Anyways, i said i would post up some anthro field trip pics...here they are...

The anthro gang... =D

.....

Interview with the Ketua kampung

.....

what are they looking at?

.....

Visit to the temple

......

eh-hm...a sick pic...

.......

group photo!

......

The End

Rambles

2006-05-29T23:05:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow...I have a test...religion. I'm pretty prepared, so no worries.

Wednesday....I'm going out...chillin' with friends. No preparation necessary either.

Now....I'm lost. Preparation unknown.

An aspiring writer which has lost her sense of direction. Too many things trying to change me, trying to influence me... What is real and what is not?

People say "the pen is mightier than the sword"....the damage it cause is so much greater, its weight in hand is so much heavier.

A friend who has lost contact. Disappeared in a fog of withdrawal. A hand offered in aid....Will it be accepted? My voice falls on her deaf ears, or maybe her mind just doesn't want to comprehend.

Death is prevalent. Can't it be more selective, more discriminative of its victims? Some people just don't deserve to die. Not yet. And there are others who bring about death which walk free....living, breathing grim reapers in human skin.

Where am I headed? No where. Just rambles....

a trip to remember

2006-05-21T22:36:00.000+08:00

Yay! We (my anthro group) went on our first trip today! We went to Ulu Beranang, which was YT and WT hometown. It was sooo hot, and there was hardly any shade. But the place was OK, if only for the scenery and cute animals. There is a cat at every building (seriously!), and they are all just sooooo cute! Or it could just be me....Lol. What can i say? I have a soft spot for kitties. Surprisingly, we managed to accomplish more than we planned ( normally it's always the other way around...=P) , we even met the Deputy Education Minister! Now i know what he looks like... K was damn blur...after we finished taking pics with the DEM and were starting to leave, he actually asked us who the DEM was! LOL! aiks.... We also took a detour to the main temple, actually it's the only temple, at Broga. It was huge! I liked the temple very much....it was ...entertaining. They had this huge statue of a durian there, what does durians have to do with guan yin? And we goofed around at the very top, where there were many animal statues....(i'll post some pics next time to show what i mean.)

Overall, it was really fun. And after I got back, I was really high for some odd reason. Maybe it's all the fresh air.... I heard ZH was high too. We did more than we expected to, so it was a productive trip. Fresh air, exercise, fun, friends, work done...what more could a girl ask for? Of course, the food there was ....suffice to say that i'll bring my own food next time.

the beginning of the end

2006-05-20T09:46:00.000+08:00

What do you think is the hardest part of writing a story? For me, I would have to say it's the ending. The starting? Oh sure! I have plenty of ideas, may it be raw or well-done; but endings are a whole different ball-game. I believe the quality of a story depends a lot on the ending. However great a storyline is, if the ending doesn't connect with the reader, all the effort in front is pretty much wasted. The starting only gives the first impression, while the body content keeps the reader hooked, and the ending should be the one to tie up all loose ends satisfactorily.

The problem with endings are...there are infinite possibilities. There are good endings, bad endings, cliff-hanger endings, Hollywood endings, weird endings....the list goes on.
Just take this example:
starting- An old beggar man huddles in a quiet street corner, trying to hide from the icy chill wind.
(possible) body+ ending-
1) the old man dies of cold after thinking back on his wasted life.
2) aliens abduct the old man off the street and he lives out the rest of his life as an alien experiment.
3) Some kind soul gives him a sum of money which he uses to start a business and becomes a business tycoon.
4) His daughter/son see the error of their ways (for throwing him out) and searched the city for him. The family is reunited. Tears of joy all around.
5) He gets sucked into an alternate reality where he becomes king or slave or whatever you want.
6) he wakes up 2000 years later in the future. Apparently he froze and was used as a guinea pig for cryogenic advances.

There's more... but i think this should suffice. =P. Maybe i think too much, but now you see why endings are tough. They are all just so tempting....greedy...hehe...

@_@

2006-05-16T19:01:00.000+08:00

I have never felt as lonely

as when i am in a crowd

I have never felt as empty

as when i shout out loud

The world passes by

not sparing a second glance

It expects you to keep up

not giving you a chance

Everyone's caught in a rat race

running circles till the end

at a fast, demanding pace

you will crack if you don't bend

People hurry by

absorbed in what they do

not sparing time to laugh or cry

forgetting what is false or true

A second to a minute

An hour to a day

time passes so quickly

everybody wants their say

All too soon the candle's out

and you find nothing remains

not a whisper, not a footstep

remains in hearts' domain

from Wesak Day to poems

2006-05-11T19:15:00.000+08:00

Today, tonight actually, i'll be going with my family to a Wesak celebration at a temple. Not what i'd pick to do, but what the heck, i don't think anyone would throw away ten marks in religion. It will be interesting at least. Funny. I don't even know what Wesak day is about. i think it's the festival where they ''pang se'' or in mandarin ''fang seng''. The literal english translation is ''releasing life''. Oh well, guess i'll find out tonight!

I used to think i liked poems. I used to like writing poems. Hmm...actually, i still do. But taking the english literature class has made me realise one thing : i don't really understand poems at all. It's soooo frustrating! At first i might think i have it, i've finally unlocked the poems true meaning, and then with just a few cryptic words, Ms. Kalai makes me all befuddled again. Drats! Sometimes i wonder if all of us are just reading too much into a poem, what if the author just wrote it like that because it sounded cool or made the poem flow better? What makes us so sure that the poet has something more to say? Something so deep and philosophical lurking somewhere between the lines or beyond the lines? Haha! I can just imagine it.... one of the dead poets waking up some day and reading someone's thoughts on his/her poem and thinking : Gosh! I didn't know my poem had so much meaning in it!

Wine or tea?

2006-05-01T22:12:00.000+08:00

A friend once asked me whether i would like my love life to be like - wine or tea? ( That is...assuming i had a love life...hehe.) Anyhow, my group of friends contemplated the question, and then we compared answers.

All of my friends went with tea, i was the only one picking wine.

According to them, tea was reliable and is comfortable, relatively calm and mellow and stable when compared with wine. It's healthy and warm, and can be a companion anywhere, anytime.

My theory was love should be like wine. Passionate and special. Flavorful and subtly intoxicating. Also, most importantly, wine's value and quality increases with time, the older it is, the more it is treasured and sought after. I'd really like my relationship to be like that.

What would your choice be? Tell me your theories too!

So many blogs, so little time...

2006-04-20T16:01:00.000+08:00

Sheesh! Now i've started a blog, i finally noticed that so many other people have blogs. (Like...duh!) And so, the reading begins.

Anyways, i like looking at blogs. My friends have really cool blogs, it's just...*sigh....not enough time.... There's never enough time. I guess i'm considered a fast reader, but i have this problem of wanting to read everything, which is why i can never get through a newspaper unless it's the Sun. Ha. Guess i'll have to be a little picky now...

Sigh

2006-04-19T14:50:00.000+08:00

Time flies...doesn't it? I could have sworn it was just yesterday that school started...and now, it's over!Well, for at least two weeks that is. 2 weeks of fun? Not likely, no, not all fun. I really have to try and get as much Japanese studying and theory work into this week as possible. Judging from my first sem experience, the next sem will be even more hectic. If I procrastinate any further, who knows where i'll be buried in Mt.Homework. LOL.

You know...I don't know if starting a blog was such a wise move after all...I mean, yeah, it sounds cool and all...but keeping both my diary AND my blog updated is kinda tiresome. Constantly trying to churn out something interesting to say...but blogs weren't meant to be stressful i guess. It's just me, I tend to take things too seriously...

Can anyone try and lighten me up?

cool...

2006-04-19T14:34:00.000+08:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

the last day

2006-04-07T16:50:00.000+08:00

Yep! It's just as the title says, it's the last day of school...for this semester at least. And next week is the EXAM week.

I'm in my school's comp lab right now...supposedly watching the last CSC class group's presentation (=P). College has kinda grown on me, i think. At least, now i rarely feel as down as when i first started. As for missing my old friends, there's an amazing invention called the telephone...lol. And i always seem to be online nowadays, so chatting is another alternative. Besides, "absence makes the heart grow fonder", i wonder if any of my friends miss me? hmm....

i really should get on with my studying, but i also want to go for a movie with my old friends this weekend. Oh well, things always turn out well in the end. That's what i believe. Or maybe i'm just unbelievably lucky. =D

colour freedom!!

2006-03-29T11:45:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine said today that he thinks guys should never wear pink.

I think wearing pink is no big deal, as long as you can carry it off. I mean, even some girls look horrid in pink!

Why does society classify colours to a certain gender? From young, Girl babies already are dressed in pink, while boy babies are dressed in blue. What's up with that? Shouldn't people be free to pick whatever colour they want to wear?

Whatever happened to freedom in colours?

Driving schmiving

2006-03-27T18:02:00.000+08:00

Once most people are 17, they all rush to register in a driving school. And in a matter of a few weeks, ta-da!! They have their license. What's the big deal about driving anyway? Why are so many people impatient to get their license?

Personally, I don't like driving. Reasons? 1) I suck at it. Seriously. 2) The roads nowadays are...well...dangerous. 3) Driving may soon be an extravagant affair due to rising oil prices. (just ignore this one...i'm just whining...)

*Sigh...all this kinda makes me wish I lived in s'pore. There public transport rules!!! Relying on public transport here is like inviting trouble. Your timing will be all screwed up, at least that's my opinion, which gives me a solid reason why i should just stick to driving. But that doesn't mean I can't comply whilst kicking and screaming all the way...

just a childish poem...

2006-03-27T15:34:00.000+08:00

I had a magic teapot

as wondrous as can be

For every time I tipped it

out comes a different kind of tea

I've tasted honey, thyme and lemon

jasmine and chamomile too

And even several horrid ones

like brocolli and bamboo

With my magic teapot

I was the envy of the town

kids from school came everyday

just to see if I was around

Together we held parties

with cupcakes on the side

And my teapot was the star of the show

for everyone wanted a try

But good times don't last forever

at least that's what people say

And true enough one fateful day

my teapot 'passed away'

A kid named Timmy twas' all his fault

for letting my teapot fly

And since pots are not built for flight

my dear pot was bound to 'die'

By now I suppose that you have guessed

what happened that tragic day

my beloved teapot fell and broke

shattered a million ways

No longer would I get to taste

my teapot's special brews

It's unique teas were gone for good

I wished this wasn't true

But alas a wish is just a wish

my teapot would not return

And so I bid farewell to thee my pot

I promise I shall not mourn

Instead this poem is a gift for you

a testament of our friendship

Everyone will know of you

and wish your teas had passed their lips!

amazing

2006-03-26T11:03:00.000+08:00

Did you know that the world changes it's magnetised ends around every 200000 years? Well, I didn't. When it happens, the south pole will become the north pole and vice versa. It's quite cool actually. Unfortunately, the change in the magnetic field causes 'gaps', allowing in more radioactive waves than usual, which could cause a cancer epidemic...which would NOT be cool at all.

Thinking on this, I realised something. It's really amazing that we humans have managed to survive for so long. Everyday, there are a million things that could go wrong, so many tragedies waiting to happen. Humans are so very fragile...a virus, an accident, a slip, a wrong decision...there are just so many death-traps in this world.

Thus, I think it's a major achievement that I have lived 17 years. And congrats are in order for those who have lived so much more. We really should be thankful we are still alive.

Yo friends...

2006-03-25T10:52:00.000+08:00

it's kinda sad really...
You make new friends, you lose old friends.
Of course it's possible to keep ALL of your friends, but who can honestly say they have not lost contact with at least one of their old friends?
Now i'm in college, thinking of my secondary school friends. How many will still remember me after a few years? How many will still be in contact?

Everyone has their own separate destinations and dreams. I wonder how many of our paths will cross again...

To blog or not to blog?

2006-03-25T10:28:00.000+08:00

When i first heard of blogs, I thought it was just a waste of time, not to mention the effort you have to put in. Totally not worth it. Perhaps it was because I was too busy at that time to even contemplate starting a blog. Sure, I was a little tempted...but i just couldn't see myself sticking to it. But now, feeling my brain slowly 'rotting' away day by day, opening a blog could just be the perfect cure. I can ramble and rave, and overall just work my slacking brain a little. Perfect.

subconscious meets conscious

the lure of the unattainable

tagged! 10 things you don't know about me (?)

New look

Weird characters

Old friends

In the holidays....

La Opera

Death Note

Being 18

quiz

Gory Greeks

a short stanza

Philosophy

Back at last

Ah-choo!

nature walk

Red Box

Ouchy....

Animania!

Braces

fun

teeth obituary

Woe is me...

Quotes

children.....cute?

2nd @ trip

Anthro stuff

Rambles

a trip to remember

the beginning of the end

@_@

from Wesak Day to poems

Wine or tea?

So many blogs, so little time...

*Sigh*

cool...

the last day

colour freedom!!

Driving schmiving

just a childish poem...

amazing

Yo friends...

To blog or not to blog?

Sigh